Okay, so, medication.

Jesus Christ, what a nightmare.

Many people without mental health issues or those who are not exposed to those with mental health disorders do not understand the frustration when it comes to finding the right anti-depressant (or otherwise).

– Flash back 5 or so years –

As previously mentioned, I had trouble with the whole medication thing. To me, medication was just a way of doctors telling you to fuck off and deal with it. I thought that they just handed out medication to those who were showing any signs of mental health issues and I had the impression that they used meds to shut people up.

– Back to now –

Oh, how wrong I was.

It has taken me a good 4/5 years to find the right balance, dose and mix of tablets that help me. But God, do I feel a difference!

I have tried a few different prescriptions, some of which were absolutely horrendous with horrible side effects that made me unbearable. I have also had some tablets which are amazing but the side effects weren’t worth the benefits. I really thought, at one stage, that Mirtazapine was the best one for me however it made me extremely (and I mean extremely) drowsy to the point that I was missing out on my life.

I’m now on 150mg Sertraline per day and I take Propranolol when necessary to calm my anxiety. The only side effects that I have experienced is having very odd, intense and vivid dreams every so often which isn’t really that bad in the grand scheme of potential side effects.

I have, however, had a lot of trouble with dissociation which I believe is caused when I haven’t taken my tablets on a regular basis and I get back into the routine of taking them daily. This scares me into making sure that I take them everyday.

“I actually have a great deal of respect for antidepressants; I think they can be enormously mighty tools toward recovery.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

I know that a lot of people have different opinions on anti-depressants and I would never encourage you to take them ‘just because’. If you feel like they’re not for you, don’t take them. If you have horrible side effects, ask for different medication or see if there are other coping mechanisms that will benefit you more.

In my opinion, if you are going to take medication, it is best done alongside therapy and other coping mechanisms such as practising mindfulness otherwise you will never fully learn to deal with your issues and you will constantly brush them under the carpet.

In a round-about way, it’s your choice.


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