– A quick disclaimer, this is only my opinion and I know that some people may disagree. Not everyone has to be in a relationship to find happiness –
To have someone in my life who loves me and cares for me in a way that contrasts my upbringing is literally the thing that keeps me going on a daily basis.
I’m not saying that I had a terrible upbringing and everyone hated me, that’s not the case at all. It was more like I was misunderstood and no one in my family knew how to deal with me. My mum is amazing and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without my Nan but it doesn’t mean that they knew how I felt or how to make me feel happier.
~ Here is a little background info on my childhood and what initially started my issues ~
To cut a long story short, my parents were young when they had me. They went on to have another child as well. My dad has always liked alcohol (I wouldn’t class him as an alcoholic however) and he became a little ‘handsy’ when he had been drinking. The stress of being young parents got to them and a few things happened and they split up.
I had hearing issues as a child so had to have an operation. My mum asked my dad (this was after their split) to take us to the hospital when my operation came around and he said it was fine. He turned up that morning hungover and late, to my mum’s horror. She told him she was annoyed etc and things got out of hand. He got aggressive (he was still driving at this point) and I was in the back witnessing the whole thing. It’s stayed with me since then and it was the catalyst for my mental health issues.
~ Back to the original point ~
Without my girlfriend I would be living an unfulfilled life making countless wrong decisions and being unhappy.
She made me confront all of the issues that I had been bottling inside me for ages and the ones I tried so hard to hide. She encouraged me to seek help and to speak with my dad to clear the air and bury everything for good.
I am eternally grateful to be able to have a shoulder to cry on and to be so lucky as to find someone who genuinely cares about my wellbeing. I can’t believe that I have managed to find someone who understands how I feel and wants to do everything in their power to make me feel better.
Sometimes I feel that I don’t deserve her because she always gives more than I ever could. I feel so selfish at times but she knows that I love her and I would give the world to make her happy too.
I recently did a personality test for work and the result was so accurate. There was a section about romantic relationships and I instantly related.
Here’s a few examples:
- Defenders are trustworthy, loyal, loving and faithful and nothing brings them more joy than the commitment of an appreciative and thriving relationship.
- Defenders’ shyness and sensitivity shield what are, beneath the surface, incredibly strong feelings. While not always obvious to others, this river of emotion can’t be taken lightly or for granted – Defender personalities can value the idea of committed romance almost as highly as some regard religious beliefs.
- Home is where the heart is for people with the Defender personality type, and in no other area of their lives do they strive with such dedication to create the harmony and beauty they wish to see in the world.
It’s crazy to me that two people can be so well suited that they can spend their whole lives together. We have been together over 6 years now and there is no sign of us slowing down! 👭🤗
I think that, as much as maybe you don’t think that you will be able to find someone because of your mental health issues, you’re wrong. You’re letting the stigma surrounding mental health dictate the possibility of you being able to sustain a loving relationship.
I am a firm believer that there is someone out there for everyone.